Honk if you love peace and quiet.
What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
WHAT DO YOU GET BETWEEN A CAR AND A PET ANSWER:CARPET HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
what do you call a bunch of white people falling down a mountain........................
An avalanche
What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start..
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started
What's another word for Thesaurus?--Steven Wright*
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order
The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity.
Proud mother of a delinquent child!
On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers
The gods help them that help themselves.
Did you check if your horn works?
the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
Live by the sword die by the sword.
Abandon the search for Truth
You are the reason men fall in love.
You are the proof that God has a sense of humor.
Some may say "the glass is half full" others may say "the glasss is half empty", but the irish will always say "are you gunna drink that?"
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who eat many prunes, sit on toliet many moons.
if your house on fire,call me,and we'll warm ourself by it!
Life is like a box of shit. You know what you are getting and it stinks!
Hot t shirts